During my pregnancy itself, I had already read plenty of parenting articles, books and even joined groups where new mothers could share their worries and queries. I then thought, I am definitely capable of becoming a perfect mother. However, perfect is a huge statement to make. Fortunately in the initial years of parenting, I realised that I should not fall into the pit of becoming the best mother, just a mumma who could nourish the child well and understand the child’s needs. Still, I would say the journey hasn’t been an easy one, it seems like a movie with too many twists and turns every now and then. Hahaha! May be, that’s called motherhood.
To comprehend the process of dealing well with my daughter and even my young students, I completed a course on Early Childhood Education. During that learning period, I was simply taken aback, jerked a little after listening to those podcasts and reading articles. So, today in this blog I will bring your attention to those 4 practices that knowingly or unknowingly, we follow in our parenthood.
“You are a good girl and you are a bad girl”, how many times do we repeat this phrase in our daily routine? Oh! Let’s accept this fact, that we tend to label things as good or bad before letting the child explore or build his/her judgment. “You are not finishing your milk, you are a bad girl, you haven’t switched off the TV, you are a bad boy.”
It is absolutely devastating for the mind of our tiny tots to label them for their particular behaviour. We ourselves are spoiling the innocent psychology of these young ones, influencing their opinions for the later of their lives. When you label a child, you are indirectly killing their chances of being creative because, with this, they become fearful of trying new things. Not only this, listening to repeated statements of being called ‘bad’ can even create self-esteem issues in them as they stop loving themselves; thus, carrying low confidence throughout their life journey. So, if you wish your child to be more creative and intellectual, let them build their own mindset for good or bad.
We all have learnt that the kids should be applauded for any tasks they do, even if they paint their sky pink or make a blue elephant. Nevertheless, are you aware if the child gets appreciated for everything he/she does can also direct them to attention seeking behaviour. The curiosity in them dies as they start performing certain activities to either seek your attention or to get rewarded by you. The actual motivation to do things in life loses its significance because the young ones are inclined to watch your blissful behaviour on their acts.
Applaud them when they are demotivated to complete their work, yet do not always reward them or give huge awe-feeling expressions every time. Sometimes, the children must be ignored by their parents and let them build beliefs themselves.
If you do not like being humiliated in front of others, how can you expect a small kid or a teenager to bear your beratings in public? We must stop that to secure some confidence in our children. You need to have compassion for the feelings and emotions of your ward so that they never feel reluctant to articulate their thoughts and opinions to you. Expressing is important but you being a good listener and acting upon their feelings are also vital behavioural attempts for releasing happy hormones in them.
Do not crush their self-esteem by scolding or yelling at them now and then, they might get hurt for life thus, impacting their ability to tackle challenges in their lives.
As you know many students are enrolled at Shavy’s English Hut, I communicate with a huge number of mothers and I feel saddened to hear the opinions of some mothers who expect their children to grasp everything in every class. They desire that the child should not miss out on any single word from the class and should retell word to word to their moms. Just go back to your childhood and recall how many times you missed losing your attention in your school class. They are small young enthusiasts who are also building their imagination, along with listening to the teacher. Moreover, they have a more competitive world to live in with too many distractions, temptations around. Let them be, whenever it will be their age to comprehend all the factors of their studies or otherwise, they will make best use of their talent. Not meeting your expectations can ruin their belief in life.
“Sit back and think about these points, are you indulging in all this unintentionally? If yes, It is time to alter your behaviour today itself.”By Shavy Jain